Criticizing Constructively
December 2, 2009 at 5:24 am | Posted in fashion, Lumpy | 4 CommentsTags: constructive criticism, fashion, lifestyle, lolita
totally unrelated but really gorgeous picture from weheartit.com
Lolitas are really given an amazing opportunity these days, what with the internet being as commonplace as it is. Newbies as well as seasoned veterans trying a different style can post pictures of themselves on internet communities ranging in audience and, well, severity (for lack of a better word) to get feedback and tips on how to improve their outfits. That’s awesome – it’s something that previous eras of fashionistas wouldn’t have even dreamt of. With the simplest google search, I can see what’s going on in the sartorial scene of any city in the world – Tokyo, Amsterdam, New York City.
However, with this new power we also, as always, receive great responsibility. This responsiblity we call “constructive criticism.” The new global nature of all internet fashion communities, especially in the lolita scene, means that politeness is key in maintaining fair international relations – by which I mean don’t be a bitch. I haven’t seen many problems with this in lolita, to be honest, but let’s just think of this post as preventative, okay?
How to Criticize Constructively
First, let’s define: Constructive Criticism is, by my own definition, an answer to the question, “what can be done differently next time to better achieve the result you want?” Constructive criticism is well-meaning and graceful; no “YOU’RE UGLY &STUPID &GROSS” here.
Giving constructive criticism
- Start and end with the positives – this is a tip I learned way back in English class in middle school. It makes a frame of good that softens any negative blow, &generally comes off more well-mannered than ranting about the negatives of the subject (in this case, a daily outfit or coordinate) &throwing in a half-assed compliment at the end. Starting out positively will also give the subject a confidence boost &make them want to listen to what you have to say.
- Be polite – a good way to do this is with “I” statements- “I’m not a fan of the socks with that skirt,” or “I think pink would go better with your complexion than blue.” “You” statements sound accusatory – “You should wear pink instead of blue cause it’d look better,” or “You shouldn’t wear OTK socks because it makes your thighs look huuuuge!!” Of course, these are very extreme examples,but the idea is still true. “I” statements are opinions, while “you” statements are judgements, or at least that’s how most people feel (or so I have read!)
- Embellishments like emoticons or exclamation points should be used to make positive statements stand out more – again, they can look accusatory or angry when paired with negative statements.
Accepting constructive criticism gracefully
- Always be greatful for the opinion, even if you disagree – if you didn’t want them, you shouldn’t have posted to a public forum! (Personal fashion blogs I consider a different story – something posted to your friends page via daily_lolita can be hard to ignore, but on an entirely different website that readers have to go out of their way to look at, post whatever you want. Go crazy. in b4: this is not my personal fashion blog.)
- Listen to the suggestions you receive – somethings you don’t notice things that other people do. Sure, you adore your new Innocent World blouse, but maybe you don’t realize that the buttons gap a bit at the bust – listen to that person telling you it might look better with a JSK than a skirt!
- Don’t get offended! Except in extreme cases such as cyberbullying, usually your critics just mean the best &aren’t trying to hurt your feelings, no matter how crass they may phrase it.
- In summary: Listen, smile &nod, consider their suggestions but don’t try to please everyone- remember, this is your own personal fashion statement, &you should only be wearing things that make you happy. If you receive too much negetive feedback to the point where you don’t want to wear what makes you happy anymore, maybe you should stop posting photos on those communities or forums – I will never tell you to stop wearing things you like! However, as I’ve said before, respect yourself – if you know posting pictures at a certain website will get you nothing but flack, find somewhere else to share – like I said above, a personal fashion blog is great for this purpose. I started one a while ago for my non-lolita fashion, and even though I don’t update it nearly as often as I update here, it’s a nice change from articles &outfits that are so compartmentalized as they are in lolita – for anyone who’s curious, it’s here: trespass.urged – can’t believe I never linked to that here before! I’m probably secretly ashamed of how neglected it is.
Now that I’ve waxed poetic on the joys of blogging and completely deviated from my original topic, I’ll leave you with a summary to remind you of what i was actually supposed to be talking about: don’t be offended, and don’t offend. Play nice with others. Treat others as you’d like to be treated – all that jazz. Do it for karma, if you have to justify it somehow. Just do it.
True or False?
November 26, 2009 at 7:45 pm | Posted in fashion | 5 CommentsTags: fake lashes, fashion, lifestyle, lolita, make-up
image from weheartit.com
They’re pretty common in lolita. Perfect make-up is almost a necessity, and eyeliner & mascara will do wonders to your eyes, but sometimes there’s just one final, absolutely necessary step. Is it the rhinestones at the corners of her eyes? Is it the glitter shadow, or the perfectly-manicured brow? All are great ways to add to your look, but there’s one last thing, and despite the fact that they’re sometimes glaringly obvious when worn, it is by far one of the best ways to make your eyes look doll-wide, and no, I’m not talking about circle lenses. If a butterfly flapping its wings causes a hurricane by the time it travels around the globe, you’d hate to think what one wink from these babies could do.
Yes, today we’re going to talk about false lashes. They might be intimidating, but if you find the right style &apply them correctly they can be SO worth it. They will make your eyes stand out more and look wider &brighter, making you look more awake – like you have big porcelain doll eyes. First, let’s talk about styles (examples from Shu Uemura):
- Natural Lashes. These are usually black or brown and made to just enhance your natural eyes. Usually they’re the same length as natural lashes or only a little longer and slightly thicker. These are good for daily dressups and non-lolita wear – they’ll enhance but they won’t POP like “fancy” ones will.
- Individual Lashes. These are individual clumps of a few lashes each that you place manually wherever you need. Directions for use here – I have never used them myself, but they seem to be an interesting idea &something I’d like to try in the future.
- “Fancy” Lashes. These are the lashes favored by most lolitas, in my experience. They are big &dramatic &impossible to ignore. They come in hundreds of styles, from feathered to jewelled to glittery to colored to lace to… basically, if you name it you can find it. My favorites that I’ve worn myself are these with little pearls stuck THROUGH the lashes. Unfortunately I left them at my parents house and found them “mysteriously” cut to pieces with all the pearls pulled off. I think I know who the culprits are…
These are the main styles – obviously, within each there are hundreds &hundreds of variations, so shop around. Speaking of, where can you buy them? If you’re interested in lashes for everyday wear, I recommend going to a high-end cosmetics store like MAC or Sephora and getting a really nice, natural-looking pair. However, for the crazier once-in-a-while styles, I’ve had amazing luck with Halloween and costume stores like Party City. If it’s out of season or you live in a country or area where Halloween isn’t celebrated (poor thing!), you can find them online as well. My Diva’s Closet is very popular and has a great selection, but I’ve never ordered from them myself. Another thing to think about is adhesive. Many companies include a small sample tube with their lashes, but not always – check the packaging to make sure. There are also self-adhesive lashes – I don’t love them, but they work for some people &are good for beginners who don’t wnat to have to worry about glue drying. I’d like to point out that most adhesive contains latex, to which many people (including myself) are allergic. I found latex-free adhesive at my local beauty store but I’m nervous to try it out because of the horror stories I’ve heard about it: I remember hearing about a lolita who wore used a supposedly “latex-free” adhesive, only to wake up the next day with her eyes swollen shut because it wasn’t exactly as hypo-allergetic as the packaging made it out to be. My reaction isn’t terrible, but it was only recently that I realized that my eyes aren’t supposed to itch &sting the entire time I’m wearing my falsies, so pretty soon I’ll probably bite the bullet and try the latex-free stuff soon.
Okay, so you have your lashes: now, let’s apply. There are many companies that make eyelash applicators, but they kind of scare me – curlers are intimidating enough! Make-up is not supposed to need machines! I just apply them myself, by hand, the old-fashioned way. Everyone has their own method, but here’s what I do:
- Apply all other make-up except mascara first – your primer, shadow, liner, etc.
- Before applying glue, take your lashes and put them against your lashline to make sure they’re the right length- trim if necessary from the inside corner.
- Apply a thin line of glue on the lash band.
- Wait a few seconds to give glue time to “set”. Once it becomes tacky, you can begin applying.
- Start at the outer corner and lay the lash on your eyelid as close to the lash line as possible. Press it into place &scootch it down a little further to ensure it stays as low as possible. Continue in the same manner with the center and inner corner, then repeat the whole process on the other eye.
- Apply mascara (black, brown, or clear for funky colors). If you want, you can apply some liquid liner over the band, but I’ve never found it necessary. Curl lightly with an eyelash curler so your natural lashes stick to the fake ones.
&you’re done! They’re a little strange at first, but you should get used to them in a minute or two. If they still feel uncomfortable or even painful, remove them &reapply. After removing them for the day, clean the band &lashes with a bit of eye make-up remover – whatever you’re using on the rest of your eye should be fine. Depending on how healthy your natural lashes are, it may be good to rub some petrolium jelly/Vaseline on them, as mascara &chemicals in other makeup can dry out your lashes, making them brittle &weak – I’ve never done this myself but I’ve heard it helps others.
Besides that, there’s not much to it. Just be careful – a well-timed wink from one of these babies and you’ll be the apple of any onlooker’s eye. Use with caution, &be careful where you aim these things!
Today’s Heart: 11/23/09
November 23, 2009 at 7:43 pm | Posted in Life, Lumpy | 1 CommentTags: we heart it
Today’s searches on weheartit.com: sleep, lady, blue
sleep:
Blue:
lady:
Hope that little beauty injection inspires you today! 🙂
13,000+ views!
November 21, 2009 at 4:17 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment
13,000 views!
Thank you all for 13,000+ views! I’m sorry I’ve been so non-existant lately – school has really been keeping me busy lately, as have personal issues &unforseen circumstances. I have a lot of stuff that I’m planning for you guys, though, &so stay tuned!
Daily Outfit 11/17/09
November 18, 2009 at 2:47 am | Posted in fashion, Life, Lumpy | 2 CommentsTags: BABY the Stars Shine Bright, blue, coordinate, Daily Outfit, fashion, lifestyle, lolita, shopping, vintage
11/17/09 - Full outfit
This Sunday, Victoria Suzanne &I headed on down to NYC for to film with the New York lolitas for Japanese television company Fuji TV. I don’t know many details about the finished product, but I assume they’re doing a piece on Japanese fashion outside of Japan – maybe lolita specifically, maybe not. DUH! Sorry, I don’t know anything else – I just went &did what I was told, which mostly ended up being shopping, ice skating, &interviews. Simple enough, but so much fun!
Kelsey &I being UNNECESSARILY EXCITED
Rundown:
- Dress: BABY, the Stars Shine Bright
- Hat: Vintage find from my aunt!
- Tote: Hello Kitty
- Everything else: Offbrand
My aunt sent me a small package of vintage goodness this week – three hats! The one pictured, a navy wool one with pheasant-like feathers (will be great for the winter!), and a cream silk circlet of some sort, with ruffles &a huge rhinestone. I don’t really know what it is or how to wear it, but hey, it’s pretty!
Make-up shot
You can’t really tell, but I’m wearing bright turquoise eyeshadow as well as my PEARLED FAKE LASHES! Sorry, give me a minute – I still cannot get over these! Okay, I’m back. Because I went for the dramatic eye, I decided to opt for a nude lip with a little gold glitter lipgloss, and some blush to even out the look. Also, do note the Hello Kitty rhinestoned earbud. J’adore!!
I had so much fun at the holiday market at Bryant Park, as well as ice skating with everyone!! My friends &I already have plans to go back after Thanksgiving. We also met a group of FIT photography students who ambushed us paparazzi-style. I gave two of the girls my name,&they’ve added me on facebook &promise to post the photos they took of us; a friend of mine is also interested in getting into photography &asked me to model for her portfolio, which I of course accepted, so look forward to both of those in the near future!
Preview: Silhouettes
November 9, 2009 at 10:13 pm | Posted in Life, Lumpy | 3 CommentsTags: black, craft, lifestyle, lolita, pearls, roses, silhouette, white
On Sunday Victoria Suzanne and I decided to have a craft day, where we made old-fashioned silhouettes to decorate our rooms. She’s going to be posting her how-to and pictures on Lolita Charm soon, but until then, here’s the one I made:
Classic-style silhouette
Victoria went for a sweet sytle on pastel rainbow paper, so I decided to go for a more classic look in black and white with pearls and roses. I used self-adhesive pearls, embossed rubber stamps, and a fancy cutout to decorate mine. My profile was slightly obscured by my bangs (that’s a curl, not eyelashes, but I think it’s cute as either!), and the headband is a little wiggly, but I still love how it turned out. It isn’t mounted to the card in the picture – I’m going to mount it on a powder blue paper with a ring of ivory behind it, then put it in a nice frame and/or figure out a way to hang it on my wall. I don’t think double-sided tape will work too well on this one, but hey, you never know.
Anyone who wants instructions, keep checking back on Lolita Charm – she’ll probably post them within a few days!
Literary Lolita: Drawing Outfit Inspirations
November 1, 2009 at 8:36 pm | Posted in fashion, Life, Lumpy | 3 CommentsTags: edgar allan poe, fashion, lifestyle, literary lolita, lolita, poetry
So some of you may know or have caught on that I’m currently attending (real!) college. An even smaller number of people will know that I am an English major (insert ubiquitous English major joke here), &thus have to read lots &lots &lots of essays, short stories, and novels; I’m currently required to read about 300 pages a week, &it’s just going to get worse – whew! Even the things you love get tedious after too long, &while I adore reading, I find myself slumping through my homework, leaving hundreds of pages unread until mere hours before class. What do I do to keep my interest? Well, as many before me have, I relate it back to something I love: lolita.
A while back, Victoria Suzanne wrote this excellent post about viewing your lolita coordinates as an art form. It talks about making up a story to inspire your outfit. Well, I’m going to expand on this – taking someone else’s writing as inspiration for your outfits.
I’ll provide three examples, all by (fittingly) Poe:
If you aren’t familiar with these poems, I suggest you read them from the links provided – it’s not really necessary to understand the post, but they’re amazing, so you should do it anyway. No, I changed my mind – it is necessary; not as a lolita or a reader of my blog/this post, just as a person. Do it. Trust me.
(Poetry will change your life!!! Can you tell I’m an English major? >.> )
So, when you’re taking inspiration from anything – books, poems, music – there are three things to take note of: mood, symbolism, and themes. I figured Poe would be a good example to illustrate these, because he uses all three heavily. For the mood, take note of the type of language the creator (which I will henceforth refer to as “he,” because my example is a male writer) uses, and for poetry, note the cadence: choppiness can denote anger, while flowing, beautiful words can denote romance, etc. Symbolism is easy – what hidden undercurrents does he use? What symbolism does he use to make his point? Poe compares Annabel Lee’s eyes to stars, so I played off of that a little. Symbolism is something that is alluded to or mentioned only once; anything repeated often throughout the piece is a theme. A specific animal (as obvious in The Raven but also noticeable through talk of birds in Romance), a location (the seaside in Annabel Lee), or any other number of things would count as a theme. A mood can also be a theme – the heavy, mourning air of The Raven is a good example.
Now that you’ve narrowed down the mood, symbolism, and themes in the piece you want to emulate, look for other things, such as allusions to color or specific clothing items. If you can find that, you’re straight – otherwise &more likely you’ll have to do a bit more detective work. Use your symbolism or themes for this one – I added shells &seafoam green to the outfit I used for Annabel Lee because of the repeated theme of the ocean.
Even though there is speculation as to whether the raven is or is not the narrator’s dead wife Lenore, I approached this outfit as if it was her spirit coming to him that stormy night. She is more mature, older than the other two girls – she wears a more mature dress and a hat, as opposed to Romance’s straw bonnet. Her clothing is meant to be reminiscent of Victorian mourning garb, the black roses being a funerary bouquet. The feathered mask &fan allude to Lenore hiding in the Raven’s body.
We all get into our slumps- no one can avoid it, no matter how much you love x, y, or z. And whether it’s your homework, your wardrobe, or your literary choices, I will always believe that beauty can help pull you out of it- whether that beauty is finding sartorial inspiration from a poem, imagining what the characters in that Nella Larsen novel are wearing, or doing your make-up as described in your Ancient Egyptian history homework a la Cleopatra. But don’t think of inspiration as only something to rescue you when you’re not your best – taking inspiration from the things you read, hear, or see is a great way to keep you connected to your environment &can be a great way to mesh your love of __________ with your love of lolita.
(Also, I might be starting a series called the Literary Lolita, relating the things I’m learning from my English classes back to lolita. It won’t be a scheduled thing – just whenever I encounter something post-worthy. What do you guys think?)
Emergency Winter Clothes
October 21, 2009 at 5:42 pm | Posted in fashion, Life, Lumpy | Leave a commentTags: autumn, guide, lifestyle, lolita, winter
Or, Dear Winter: Next Time, Consult Me First.
- image from weheartit.com
Yes, winter. Yes we should.
I don’t know who told you that October was supposed to be 45 degrees and a daily “wintery mix” for almost a week straight. I don’t know who told you that it was ~perfectly okay~ to see your breath in the middle of the day. I don’t know who told you that we should be busting out our capelets &muffs (or, if you’re everyone else on my campus, North Face &Uggs) before the month was halfway over. I don’t know who told you you had precedence over fall. I don’t know who told you any of this. Please inform me of who they are so I can make stabbity, stabbity death at them, A-SAP.
Seriously! I am in no way prepared for this – emotionally, monetarily, &most importantly, sartorially. I was just a few weeks ago noticing the lamentable lack of long-sleeved shirts in my wardrobe, but here I thought I’d have some more time to shop around &stock up. Apparently not!
Anyone else in this position? Where today was almost painfully chilly, & tomorrow looks worse; you only have time for one trip to the mall &it has to be NOW &fast? If so, here’s my emergency shopping list:
- White and/or black long-sleeved thermals. These will go under anything – OP, JSK, or blouses – or even with a skirt. They’re pretty form-fitting usually, though, so I don’t recommend wearing them over a JSK, as is sometimes done with blouses. Get them in each of the standards, and maybe a fun one as well (my selections: a black &a grey with hearts)
- Thick opaque tights. Don’t you have these already?! You can get them basically anywhere, but personally I like Target for any leg coverings. Again I of course recommend black and white, but my confession is, I only bought a brown pair so far – thus I am clearly a hipocrit. Bring out the firing squad!
- Thick warm hoodie or sweater. I emphasize hoodie here becase A. they can &do work with lolita and B. there is nothing with a better cost ->warmth value if you find a good one – as in, nothing will keep you that warm with that price tag but a hoodie. However, this is the season for big comfy knits, too, so a nice, thick sweater is advisable. Try for a hooded one, though – 90% of our heat escapes through our heads (or something like that) &this way you can avoid buying a hat for a little while. To loli up a hoodie, bow brooches or cute buttons are great, &if you’re feeling crafty, add an applique &some lace.
- Gloves or mittens! There is no reason not to buy ones that can last all winter now. Many stores have them (again, hello, Target!) and they are a quick, cheap buy. Nothing will keep your hands warmer, &cold fingers suck 😦
- Leggings. I know, I know – anyone who’s been listening to my lolita fashion advice for a while knows my leggings line: great for daily wear, but they don’t suit the lolita look well. But we’re an industrious group, aren’t we? We can shape &mold anything to our liking. And, you know what season winter is? Boot season. Wear microfiber leggings under your cute loli boots because they’ll look like tights but be more comfortable &breathable. Don’t have boots? Layer them under kneesocks. I like to look for a blend of 85%+cotton, 15%- spandex, because they’re comfortable but still keep their shape after being worn.
- A scarf. But that’s total personal preference – one of my first winter purchases, &I’ve worn it every day. No lie.
Okay, so these are your emergency purchases; my winter staples. </opinion!> Growing up in New England, where you pray for it to get above freezing &are happily surprised if it’s above zero degrees fahrenheit in the winter, you tend to pick up pretty quickly on how to dress warmly (and that’s not even mentioning the many places that are much colder than here!). For anyone who’s moved to a new climate or (like me) are just recently starting to care how they look in the winter, as opposed to IT’S COMFY & KEEPS ME WARM, here are some more general tips:
- Layer! Layers will be your friend in the cold weather, just make sure you use different fabrisc &textures, otherwise things will ride up or slip out of place &just be generally uncomfortable. From inner to outer, wear silky, then cotton, then knit. It’s what I’ve found to be the most comfortable for my, at least- silky cami or undershirt, cotton cutsew or dress, knit sweater (or hoodie!) Feel free to experiment, but that’s my formula, personally.
- Cotton! It is your friend! It will breathe well (meaning if you go from cold to hot &start sweating, it won’t stick to you as much or be as uncomfortable, etc), it’s warmer than synthetic fabrics, and it goes well under scratchy but oh-so-warm sweaters or scarves.
- Pair white pieces with ivory or off-white. Not beige, ivory – it’s lighter and still a noticable difference but not outstandingly so. A white blouse can be “warmed up” (pun?) with a cream sweater, or a shiro OP can go with thick cream tights or knee-length bloomers.
- While I’m talking about colors, offset summer shades with neutrals. For example, my light blue and yellow plaid BABY dress might never see the light of day til spring if I went only with that color scheme – however, it can be winterized with cream lace tights, lace-up victorian brown boots, a cream thermal and a brown sweater – wear a brown felt hat with a blue ribbon around the brim and blue and gold jewelry to accessorize. Tada! Just because something has brghter shades doesn’t mean it needs to be retired half the year.
Maybe it’s not a problem of winter. Maybe fall is just having an identity crisis. Whatever the problem is, I hope it sorts itself out soon – I was so looking forward to autumnal weather &all its opportunities for sartorial creativity – cardigans, tights, flats… I know you’re under a lot of pressure, Autumn, but could you please fix this identity crisis? We all love you &appreciate you for who you are!
Daily Outfit 10/17/09
October 18, 2009 at 8:59 pm | Posted in fashion, Life, Lumpy | 11 CommentsTags: Daily Outfit, ero, fashion, lifestyle, lolita, steampunk, symphony
To the symphony!
My boyfriend took me to the symphony last night 🙂 This is what I wore! I didn’t know what kind of clothing everyone else would be wearing, or even who would make up the rest of the audience, so I wanted to wear something nice &sophisticated but also lolita. The result? Gothic-ero-steampunk-inspired casual lolita!
ee! peeking petticoat!!
Rundown:
- Sweater: Banana Republic
- Belt &hairbow: Forever 21
- Skirt: Meta
- Leggings, boots: offbrand
just playing with curves &color filters, really
Nothing to write home about, just thought it was pretty 🙂
The symphony was amazing – they had a guest pianist who was so passionate about the music that he was almost jumping off the bench at certain parts. He was playing a huuuuuge old grand piano and wore a tuxedo shirt with jabot-esque bowtie and a tailcoat. The rest of the orchestra was phenomenal as well, of course, and the Maestro was really very much fun to watch, as he was also very spirited and animated. They also had a harpist, a celeste-player, a few double bassists, A GONG, and a good amount of instruments I’ve never even heard of. It was a beautiful evening and I’m hugely looking forward to their accompaniment to La Bohème in March (in the original Italian with “super-titles” – how does one subtitle a live performance?). To top it all off, after the symphony, we got… Pizza from Domino’s. Aren’t we refined?
Photomanip Part Deux
October 17, 2009 at 12:41 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments
just another photomanip...
…from the Midsummer Night’s Dream photoshoot. Nothing special since I’m still pretty new to shoopin’s but I’m happy with it – not bad for a beginner, eh? Unfortunately, after photoshopping it I resized it too small, so you can’t really see the details well, aww 😦
I hope you’re all having a beautiful day 🙂
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